Shall change and challenge us until we become the person we are meant to be.
This weekend was quite interesting and amazing. It really was a good start for the Holiday magic! Around 50 people, all good friends new and old, tons of video gaming, drunks singing, guitar playing, eating, and enjoy each others company! :] It was truly a magical party! I can't even imagine how a Holiday season can really start any better than this. It's one of the few parties I actually get to enjoy with everyone before I take off for three months.
I think it was a little off... But, perfect timing for everything. Well, kinda. My not so romantic romance ended. Haha, not much that I'm going to really miss there. We were friends dragging out something that really didn't belong. I'm sure there are things on both sides of that that were hidden from each other. But, whatever. I just wish that it could have been dealt with sooner. But, I guess timing and horrible communication sucks. Wait, why guess about that... It did! I can only hope that everything from here on out plays out well. If it doesn't? Well, I'll over come it. I've got to be strong. Life isn't easy.
Who would have known that all of this would happen? Surely not me. My life is changing. For better or for worse, I'm still not sure. But, I'll take whatever is thrown at me. And treat it with love and the kindness that everyone that I know has shown me in one way or another. Even if it punches me in the face and knocks me down, I'll still stand up with a look of compassion and take the blows. I'm not afraid anymore...and yet, I am. But, only because I don't understand. I'm trying to understand the future that hasn't even happened yet and that isn't all that close. I have to live in the now and enjoy everything I have and give compassion to what I don't.
I live in the here and now. I live in the moment because I never know if it'll be my last or if I'll ever be able to experience it again. Life is odd like that. If I don't live for myself and others, who is going to live for me and them? Of course they can live for themselves, but I enjoy living right along with them.
Like the party over the weekend? Did I know everyone that was there? No, of course not. But, that doesn't matter. For we all had a good time and lived for ourselves and for each and every person that was there. We'll all remember that party and how awesome it was and all the smile and laughter that came with it.
For the future I hope that I can have another relationship with the person that I wish to have one with. But, if I don't I may feel a bit rejected. As such life carries on and I shall live through it. Even though it would be fantastically nice, I shall live if it doesn't happen. No matter what I'm sure we'll continue to be friends and keep the nights in our memory.
Where do I head from here? Just living each day in stride until I leave in March for boot camp. Where after that? Home. To my friends and family where I belong. Where from there? I'm not sure hopefully close to home, if not well, then I'll constantly visit. :]
For now, I'll just enjoy what life has given me now. Lots of love, cuddles, hugs, kisses, and some of the best support that anyone can ever ask for; friends.
Thank you for everything.
~Tori
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